When Should You Ask Your Bridesmaids to be in Your Wedding? | Wedding Tips
Happy Galentine’s Day!!
Did you recently get engaged?? It’s so exciting isn’t it?? But now you’re probably wondering… well, ALL. THE. THINGS. How do you choose a venue, a dress, a bridesmaid or a maid of honor?!
Don’t worry, girl, we got you, it’s Galentine’s Day! (Thank you for this awesome holiday, Leslie Knope.) We have a few tips for how to choose who to have by your side and the best timing for when to ask them.
Things to consider before choosing your bridesmaids:
Pick who feels right for YOU.
Our bride, Sara, suggests not picking “the person that everyone is expecting you to choose. You need to make sure that person is always there with you, for you, supporting and loving you throughout the whole process. No one else’s opinion matters.” It’s your bride squad, do what feels right to you.
But I was in their wedding… Don’t feel you have to have someone in your wedding party just because you were in theirs. Especially if you’re not that close anymore. Most sensible people don’t mind not having to buy a special dress, pay to attend a bachelorette party, and can enjoy being a guest!
On that note, it’s OK if someone says no. Keep in mind, you’re asking for a large time and financial commitment!
Don’t worry about your wedding party being even. These days, we’ve seen it all. Bridesmen, Best ladies, Man of Honor, Groomsladies, groomswomen, I Do Crews, you name it. If you only have 2 really close friends, but your fiancé has 4 close friends, it’s ok to be lopsided! It won’t ruin your photos. Promise.
We had 4 bridesmaids and EIGHT groomsmen. What can we say, Mr. Vondy is a popular guy.
More girls (or guys) = more money. Keep in mind the more girls (or guys) you ask to be in your wedding party, the more costly it may become. You’ll need to pay for a bouquet for each gal pal and it’s often customary to give them a gift for being in your wedding. Some brides even pay for their girl’s hair and makeup. It can really start to add up!
It’s TOTALLY OK to NOT have a wedding party too! We’ve had plenty of weddings with no wedding party and it’s amazing! Some brides and/or grooms will still ask close friends/family to come while they are getting ready to participate without the stress of being in a wedding party.
When should I ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding?
Don’t ask RIGHT after getting engaged.
It may be tempting to ask your girls to be in your squad immediately after getting that ring on your finger, but we’d recommend taking a little time to enjoy being engaged before asking anyone anything.
Although you may have been dreaming up your ideal wedding for months, after wrapping your head around the type of wedding you want to have (and can afford), you may decide you want to have a small wedding party to lower the costs or maybe it would be impossible not to include siblings.
A former bride of ours got so excited and asked her cousin’s daughter to be their flower girl before realizing that they actually wanted to have a kid-free wedding. Oops. Poor kiddo was the only kid at the wedding, luckily, she didn’t seem to mind! It was super awkward for our couple to have to explain why other family members couldn’t bring kids though.
Take your time and choose carefully!
We’ve seen SUPER helpful bridesmaids and we’ve seen ones that totally try to steal the show. We’ve also seen ones that are there but clearly wish they were anywhere else. Can you believe that? Try and choose girls (or guys for that matter) you know will have your back and be supportive for you on the day. You may have to ask them to do random things like, pick up bagels or coffees for breakfast and the last thing you want to hear is complaining on your wedding day.
Wait until you know your wedding date.
Before proposing to your bridesmaids-to-be, consider knowing your wedding date and venue. This may help your ladies know if they have a previous commitment, they are having a baby, maybe they can’t fly to Mexico that particular weekend, or they have another personal reason they can’t say “I do” to being in your wedding. On the contrary, if you know you simply MUST have someone at your wedding, maybe check ahead of time before setting that date in stone.
Have any tips/tricks you used for choosing your bridesmaids? We’d love to hear them! Comment below!
Next we’ll share a post on how to ask your bridesmaids to be in your wedding!
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